My hypochondria is so intense sometimes that it clearly crosses the border into the realm of deep, unapologetic narcissism. I'm so tuned in to every ache and pain, twitch and twinge; I am in thrall to my own body, enthralled by my own body.
And so I've resolved to turn a deeply negative, self-involved force in my life into something positive. I spend so much emotional and intellectual energy obsessing about the various different diseases I'm convinced I have -- why not transfer some of that energy into working to eradicate those diseases?
So I'm signing up for a MS bike ride fundraiser next month. I'm not expecting to raise gobs of money -- it's really about stepping up and doing something larger than I am.
And when my MS anxiety fades and some new fear latches itself firmly in my brain, then I'll run or swim or walk or bike for that, too. Because -- let's be honest -- my brain might be wired a little funny, but my body -- it works just fine.
1 comment:
I just wanted to say I sympathize with you and understand what you're going through. My first anxiety attack was at age 7, but didn't come back till my early 20's. I'm 38 now and still "live" with it. Perhaps I should follow your plan as well!
Anyway, congratulations on turning it around for yourself and making it positive. I look forward to future posts and reading about your journey to recovery.
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